“Young alienation, disappointment and heartache is all a part of the first real growing up that we do.” -Judd Nelson
Alas, the third installment of my expression of the fear of disappointment. In this nailbiting edition, I will discuss the disappointments I fear my family and myself will encounter…because of myself. Deep, right? Yeah totally.
Okay, so I am currently a freshman in college. A.K.A. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I’ve changed my mind on so many different possible majors and outcomes with a career. Although, for the most part, mis padres have been extremely supportive of my constant changes and indecision. I’m struggling with the thoughts of possibly letting them down in what I eventually choose. Even with the fact that I could possibly never choose a suitable job- for I don’t want to decide on a career just because it could be easier than other options I consider.
Disappointing my family in that aspect is remarkably terrifying to me. I want them to be proud of me and my educational outcomes that I was able to accomplish.
For the last section- the fear of disappointing myself- should probably be the most important to me. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t care so much about disappointing other people in my life if it takes a toll on myself. I found out after many years, that disappointing those people that I love or who have constantly helped me in my life is what makes me disappointed in myself. Letting others down, lets myself down. In a way I guess that this portion is kind of a healthy fear to obtain because it makes me avoid or simply work harder to prevent disappointment to happen in any aspect of my life.
In saying this is sort of a healthy fear, it reveals to me that disappointing yourself can be one of the most harmful kinds of disappointment….which is kind of terrifying. Ugh. Why am I also so maltido paradoxical?
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